I’m just a messenger

Originally posted on my Otherworld Journeys website 19th May 2011



I was been sent these accounts in the form of emails by a lady (A) who lives in Sweden. In them she describes her experiences with beings from otherworlds, what they have shown her, and the harassment she has had to contend with since, from those who monitor and restrain this world.

The emails were originally sent to a counsellor that I know called Mary Rodwell (M)and she advised her to write to me. A asked me to publish them.
24 mars 2011

Have been contacted. Don’t know how to reach out with the information they been trying to transfer to me.
Live in seculated Sweden and even so all this I have experienced is completely taboo to even mention. Where to turn to? This started in 1990 in my life, and started up again in the beginning of 2009. Was shown the model or matrix. My name or face is not of importance – the message is. The matrix or model is. In this hierarchic, authoritarian society I can not reach through to the scientists in physics as I do not master the language of mathematics. The matrix of the holistic universe is like a yin and yang but each opposite dot in the S -shape contains within themselves holistically a yin and yang. They are connected holistically with all the other, although they are as a whole stable. This is the matrix of the creation. As below as above. It’s a about inversion. Black absorbs all colours or frequencies. White radiates all colours or frequencies. We on Earth labour with physics without understanding the fundamentals and therefore we cannot understand the consequences for the multiverse. We are threatening the balance of the multiverse, as we do not understand the fundamentals of it. That was some of it. I’m just a messenger. Where to turn to? This all as is started 1990 and it was for the evolution of consciousness of man. And why me? They told me that it was due to my genetic heritance. Caucasian Asian and African genes?!. Well I’m a sort of Scandinavian mixture. As I saw the documentary about you and your son two days ago on the internet I thought you were right to contact. Thank you for taking time to read this. Hope you’ll get back to me.
Kindest regards and all the best!


22 april 2011

Dear M,
Thanks for your helpful mail. Sorry for not getting back to you earlier. Had my old computer in for repair. Finally had it delivered back home yesterday and i was able to read your letter with its attached document. There was very much in there and i have a strong resemblance to the indigo children. Did some browsing on your site and also took part of your lectures that was available on you tube. The humanlike creature I encountered 1990 does not quite resemble those example shown on the internet. Also my experience differs a lot from those described that i have found on the internet and therefore I doubt that anyone would believe me. I realize though that I would be helped by talking to a therapist or someone with big insight in this matter as I am not feeling all that well after what happened to me. I do hope you’ll be generous to me and read this letter. I’m afraid it will be a long letter so I recommend that you copy it to “word” and alter the font to Times New Roman.
I went through a sort of horrifying “initiation” that was physical in March 2009. A friend of mine when I told him about the faces i went through that weekend told me that it sounded a lot like a metamorphosis connected to Buddhism and yoga. As I did some searches on yoga I found images that was sort of illustrations of what I had gone through. Energies were entering my body through the top of my head, which effected my perception of my bodily sensations. I felt new different facial features for example that was very painful. Also i perceived my breathing and body in entirely new ways. So what was it all about -i was terrified. Still i knew that i had to go through it.
The humanlike creature that i hade encountered January 1990 was beautiful -slender in statue, Black big sort of glowing eyes without any white showing. He had delicate features black short hair. His skin was ash bluish/brown very dark. He looked at me in that bright white space as we stood in front of each other. He reassured me telepathically that i should be confident and secure what ever will happen. There was a feeling of trust and then he drifted towards me and we sort of united and there was this extreme sensation of warmth and love. It felt as if things would happen to me. (Well it did all following spring and summer. The strangest dreams during the spring and the summer I had to fulfil a mission that was quite hard. It was as if a programmation started. I knew things and did things telepathically to people, also “knew” that I should travel over the see to stand on a mountain and see the sun go up and i just knew I was in a hurry. A best friend who knew me since way back realized that something strange was really happening to me as i told her about this new knowledge that was pouring out through my head. It was strange to her, as she knew I had never been the least interested in anything religious esoteric or new age stuff. She introduced me in a hurry to her father and he said of course you are in a hurry because there will be a total solar eclipse over in Finland in a couple of days and it will look exactly as you describe it. You will actually have to stand on that mountain in the wooden landscape and see the sun go up. Because it will happen in the early morning. A lot of strange things happened. Many that really scared my travelling companion. (It was as I was under attack by thunder!) Also i had to perform a sort of task. Which meant running towards the Sun and diving into dark waters! Scared but I undressed all alone and swam out in the water to get far out enough to be able to see the sun while doing so to calm myself I hummed aoum. I found a plateau in the water and climbed up. There I could see the sun finally before it set. I confessed to higher forces in all humbleness.
Really strange. It was this strange programmation that had me doing all this. And all of it, which also included automatic sort of writing on the human condition. I was informed for the evolution of consciousness of man. This would all change the course of things and times. By the actions the programmation they had me to perform was a test to make me see my role as it was tied to my destiny. To make me subdue and be humble. As i felt i had to accomplish hard in parts and very terrifying “my” mission. Seeing the sun and the moon together it felt the hard part was over for this time. Though I attracted thunder for a couple of years from then on to many people’s shocking surprise. It was as if my brain had a new electrical charge. The information i received was about in part of a sort of eternal me the told me something about me being Ara Axa Aia, the nornes!? I did not want to take that in. They tried to explain to me about the code of the alphabet being the secret code of time. They showed me in symbol how the eagle’s flight to earth in a circle with it’s landing represented the alphabet coming down to Earth. Y, X, A. The depicted ending symbols in the circle for the eagle landing. YXA meaning axe in Swedish. The eagle sitting down finally in rest, forming the circle opening up -the omega. The time opening up. The vowels aou etc being keys. The omega meeting an opposite omega with A’s in each opening= Axa. The complete butterfly or if you will the double axe. This new “identity” made my mother want to put me in a mental institution so I sort of had to “go under cover”. I did a great deal of research to restore my self-esteem and confidence. Was i all mad? What i found out about what I had experienced about what I performed in Finland i discovered had strong resemblance to Andromeda (the motif – her in on a cliff in water.)Also I found motifs with strong resemblance to the Mithraic mysteries. All was like a great riddle.

One day 1997 my boyfriend at the time came home with a new book he had found for me The origins of the Mithraic mysteries by David Ulansey. I read it and there it was the connection. He proved how Perseus in the star chart was identical to Mithras. And Perseus who was he in Greek mythology well the one who rescues Andromeda from the cliff. So I found his homepage on the internet and wrote him about my strange experiences. I told him i needed help to understand all this that had happened to me. He got back to me telling me that he was blown away by what I had written and he promised me to get back to me and he gave me his telephone number. But then after another short mail I never heard from him again. I began to search the internet a lot. I realized that I was not mad in the common sense. This was beginning to scare the hell out of me. I found the Armenian old god Ara that came down with the alphabet!!! I read about Mithras and he was the turner of times. I felt scared and regretted that I had ever written to Ulansey. I got the message: -they will get to you one day.(!) One thing good about him was that he published useful links on his webpage. There i found reference to Robert Graves and his odd book The White Goddess in which he writes about mythology and the alphabet. Also describing the satchel carried by Perseus containing the sacred vowels.

What happened as strange it may sound in 2007. I will call him P. a man I had stumbled into in my neighbourhood that i started to get to know. He had just returned to Sweden after a long stay in California. One evening when i had danced he changed his attitude completely and just said- hard to translate- You are Her! I understood that he was the one to find me -it was his quest. At first he had approached another woman in the neighbourhood that shared many features with me. Tall dark thin a dancer with a dog, with the name Maria, her last name meaning mountain. Me tall thin dark with an affinity for dancing, I have a dog, my second name being Maria, and my name (maiden name) being fir tree) He was strange after that and observed me with a distance. It scared me. As I knew it he was unemployed and without any money from any unemployment agency. Still, he shortly after that went to stay in California for months. (That’s where Ulansey was stationed and as it seems he works a odd places for being a professor in history of religion former MIT and Berkley. You can check the places out on the internet and on his webpage: http://www.well.com/user/davidu.) P made contact 2008 having returned from California. I avoided him. 2009 in the beginning of March he rings on my doorbell. I let him in because I was expecting him to show up one day. He sits down on my sofa and I stay quiet. He starts to talk. He says. “This is difficult to talk about but when I was younger i went into a strange state. I was being convinced that I was different that I was the elected one as a sort of saviour. A kind of Messiah….And…And then he stopped talking and just looked at me for a long time. I said nothing. Then he wanted to change subject and asked if we could make birthday dinner to a friend we had in common. He stayed the night at my place after the dinner. When we were close I could feel the strangest sort of electricity charge flood into my hip. In the morning when I woke up passing him lying on the sofa. My legs stopped to functioning. They did not carry me and i just fell to the floor.

Ulansey was the only one I had ever written my story to.
P seems to have lived a sort of jet set life in California, meeting stars. Quite surprising him being unemployed and not the least famous at all.

So in the beginning of 2009 before P rang my doorbell in March. On my screen on my computer all of a sudden there appeared this invitation to join a wireless network. These are things that do not occur. But as I knew that I have to deal with “them”…so I accepted to join in the open wireless connection. The computer started to act strangely. I knew they could see all I did. So I started to show them of what I knew about this odd story and showed them who I suspected they could be connected to through my searches. Then a while after P had visited me in March that strange initiation happened.

In between strange things for being Sweden happened. There were sounds as bells and sirens. There was a small sort of Earthquake that made my balcony move. There was also thunder lightning in the sky. And I was warned – danger. I had a warning. But I sort of have a confidence after meeting this dark humanlike creature in 1990. So what ever will be I will make it.
What I experienced after the sort of spontaneous yoga initiation was hard to grasp. All of a sudden i had extreme capacities and abilities. I was fast as a whirlwind doing my laundry i could move as never before. My voice was completely dynamic so I could not answer my phone for a couple of days since i could not find my own voice back. I could move like a master in Kung Fu. My muscle strength was extreme. My eyes altered shape sort of and viewing in certain states i was extremely sensitive to light. Everything was amazing and fun. Then that started to change. And now you really must think i have lost it. The entities that i could feel in side me was starting to get out of control. They were of different species. They had entered my electric nervous system during that initiation when – I had no choice but to let them in. The community out there, which we humans don’t belong to, wanted to find out what a human was. How we differ and probably also how our life on earth was. I was their guinea pig. As I understood it among them there was a disagreement on the destiny of Earth and man. Some of them did not think we deserved this planet and that we were primitive and crude creatures. There was some group that was not in on this and that was the ones of entirely different sort. They were the ones that could not be seen, as they had very of different composition and their electric charge was entirely different from ours. They where sort of antithetic and they were the ones that appeared as “thunder”.

I did not know what to make of it. Enemies within-enemies without? This was a joke – me as a representative for the human species?! Extremely silly. But me a strong headed passionate tomboy- independent . Fuck I was going to show them all. Nobody fucks with human kind or me. No one should take my eggs. No fucking clones were going to be made of my eggs. I have a son. And he is human and so was I. I want no hybrid children.

I would not let them concur me or pick me up or destroy me. I had help from within as the thunder creatures, as you might call them, began to try to dissolve my body. My fingers when touching plastic merged with the plastic as glue. Also I needed to take control of my electric nervous system but that was really hard. I tried to ward the thunder people off and was instructed that they could not stand water and organic material so I dressed in wool and silk and they told me to sleep in water in my bathtub. So I covered myself in a wool blanket and a sheep fleece/fur under me in the bathtubs water. The wool would keep me warm in the cold water. And it did.

They instructed me to leave the apartment as i was not safe. I was to go to southern France. There the thunder closed in on me -my head felt it so strongly. So I took a night train to Toulouse leaving Nice behind. This is when I realise and had to come to terms with that this was not only a matter to the others out there but also human beings that were involved. I had not accepted it before really. But I had suspected free masons a new Christian movement that was focused on the revelation story, some into the esoteric and new age. At Toulouse station they steered my legs to exit the station building and turned my head upwards and there was a huge marble plate honouring the names of dead soldiers in the First World War. And I felt crying within and my lips moved as they were singing the French national anthem. So sick. Who were in on this project? The project and target being me?! Well i don’t even know the lyrics of the French national anthem.

In Paris they instructed me to breath, as I was through in the initiation through the skin to escape the thunder beings -altering my specific charge as a human. So I started to breathe through my skin on my neck and on the side of my lungs. I was instructed to go down to the south of Paris named Fontainebleau where i was to seek out forest. They were going to help they told me. Finally reaching Fontainebleau they told me to undress and lie down and stay absolutely still. So there I was completely naked just outside the center of Paris lying down hidden by trees and high grass my eyes shut. And nearly at once there is a swarm of flying creatures. I had to be fully still and be brave they told me. I could hear their wings and feel their small feet all over the lower part of my body. They were scraping off skin and they entered my vagina and dragged out, with something that felt like a parachute, – my egg. Then they all left at once. Now the egg was secured they told me and i could get dressed. I looked down on my legs and could see where they had scraped off skin- it was as small red squares on my thighs.

I asked about the humans being involved and they told me as I understood it secret societies and organizations with various goals and affiliation and expectations connected to all this. Some have stroked deals with some of the species from the outside. It’s about a new order that might come in the future. Some have had expectation of a new second coming. Where P plays a part. And as I understood it some of the humans involved in this sort of secret project consider me as the Babylonian whore! Well I am completely secularized. And I find members of these organizations being fools. First of all I consider their groups antidemocratic. I don’t like exclusivity!

Back in Stockholm my family had had me searched for by Interpol so I was picked up at the airport. I had problems breathing so i was driven to hospital. I showed the doctor that i had problems breathing a normal way and showed her by closing my mouth and nose and walked around in the room for minutes just breathing through my skin and i said i could not breathe the normal way. She could her superior doctor and he said that that can’t be true so they locked me up at a mental ward. I hid all drugs and spit them out. My breathing caused me problems as my skin started to change. It went dry and wrinkled and fell off. A friend brought me olive oil so i could prevent it from drying. Also my metabolism now required a lot more food so she brought me lots of nuts and chocolate. They realized me after a week or so as they could not find any problem with me. Well i was not truthful otherwise i would never had been released. But why stay, as they could not help me anyway.
I went to my parents place in Värmland a district close to Norway. There I was lucky as it rained all the time so the thunder creatures could not get to me. Also some of them were there to help me to escape the thunder people this was like a sort of star wars fought on Earth. I needed their help but also I wanted to proof to them that the human being as a species in space are the only creatures that can master the severe harsh condition of living on Earth. And I told them that my eggs are my own and that they could screw themselves with their vain genetic experiments. If a species out there don’t make it on their own they are bound to go under. That is their own fault. And with me having their nervous system within i’d show them how an hybrid would fail on Earth and how our culture how primitive it might seem has qualities and insights that they don’t understand and know how to appreciate. Yes i am an aggressive angry bitch and I’ll show you I told them. I had help but I fought as a soldier for the human kind. We are superior on Earth. In many regards we fail to respect this wonderful planet still we are entitled to this planet and actually, you might disagree, but we do not need any genetic engineering. That might be in the past. We have lack of understanding and respect in many regards but we have what some of their culture don’t have and that is democracy chaos and fun. Art song dance and music and liberated women and no slaves.
I took them within running with me in the forest without using paths. (:-D I am a master in doing that) Now and this was sick. Someone I hadn’t encountered before made his entry on his own frequency. As i understood it he was a combat and a psychic trained special force soldier working for a U. S secret intelligence unit that was “monitoring” this project. (Shit this sound crazy I know.) They have had their eyes on these secret organizations in the US as they seem to organize really influential powerful individuals/segments of the society. The soldier assigned to this mission could not follow within me as I made my way up the steep hill with its difficult terrain and his leg muscles sort of choked. I reach out to him from within and found him on his frequency.
So what I realized was that this is knowledge about things hidden from ordinary people and the public. It is secrets about what have been going on in secrecy.

The humans involved did not get it. Certainly not about me. I was in a terrible accident 2000 and have had severe back and pelvis problems. What they were not humble enough to research on was that i come from a line on my fathers side with extreme athletes. With an extreme capacity when it comes to heart and lungs. And also that both of my parents have extreme disciplined will power. They also saw me as a weak crippled woman with low ethic and moral standards. They underestimated me. They did not understand that i can go through fire for things i cherish and believe in. The most stubborn headstrong woman they have ever met. Apart from the soldier I had heard the other humans before. All of them on different frequencies. The thing was that they were not able to hear the others. Above all they could not receive what the ones from the other civilizations were transmitting. The French mason as it turned out were nice and he /they cried and apologized for participating in this project. Him/they where high up in the order and in initiation. But they thought it was something to do with the religious and a second coming. I told him them that there are no second coming this is just about the human species mankind’s right to Earth and science -no religion at all. Me just being sort of a messenger a representative and a soldier. Many of them involved regretted their involvement as they could not cope and due to that it all did not turn out the way they had expected. They never had understood that this was on a larger scale than they had ever imagined. This was not a sort of quasi-religious adventure. I fought for my right as a human. Not to win a throne or a crown nor position of any kind.
My mission apart from surviving and being able to keep my eggs and stay a normal human was to make the ones from the other parts of the multiverse respect us as being as we are. Another matter is what we do. They told me about our nuclear products and radiation that it interferes with the balance in the multiverse. (Come to think of it they said that not only Chernobyl but also other nuclear power plants should be secured. The sarcophagus in Chernobyl they said need to be strengthen. They showed me that the concrete layer could be much stronger with multilayers, and it should as i understood it be “armed” not only by iron bars but also with a textile material.)

P had failed in his mission. Instead of sticking to me he involved another woman and took her with him the second trip to California after meeting me. She got her training too over in the U.S. She was not friendly when communicating to me. She was convinced that she was an elected goddess to her holy consort P. And she gave birth to their child in winter spring 2009. Their daughter was given the name Holy. On Facebook she showed an image of the child dressed as an angel, titled the miracle with a gloria/halo surrounding the head. She told me telepathically in July that P doesn’t fulfil his agreed mission. He wanted out of it all and had started to work with a project. A TV program for children. Half a year later he told me about the job IRL.

My breathing problem, which worsened when I got back to Stockholm. From the endless rain back to a Stockholm completely dry like a desert. Horrifying.
P visited me frequently after me returning in the middle or end of July (-09). He was often intoxicated -drugs and alcohol. He aggressively pointed out to me that I belonged to the stars and not on Earth. He began telling me about a sort of organization that had a “police” that tried to make him do what he was commanded to. He told me that the meeting with the Alien or the devil is not fun. He told me he was ordered to live with me and take care of me aggressively crying. This after he had stopped breathing and that made me being unable to breathe at all. He had connected in March.
When I asked who had been supporting him and who was behind. He answered: The Scientologists.
with his back turned to me. I have asked him what really happened to him referring to what he had initially had said March 2009. How could I possibly tell, he said, being brought up in an alien spaceship he said, who would believe that. You can’t tell these things, he said. Then at another occasion he said that the world will go under and three children will be picked up(!) His two children and my son. No way, I said, my son belongs right here on Earth!
Well we humans do.
When i asked them 2009 why they were so discontent with the human species they answered Nuclear- radiation power plants etc is the biggest issue for them outside our solar system. As we by this threaten the balance in the multiverse. This they had told me already 1990.
Another issue is the weakening of Earth magnetic field, which seems linked to the dangers of nuclear radiation. I would spread the message i promised if they in return would stop with abduction and genetic experiments. Now i have tried to show them how we are worthy of respect. That we due to the harsh condition on Earth live short lives compared to them. I showed them that a human body up north here in Sweden can survive sunlight darkness dryness humidity extreme cold extreme warmth. None of them can take all this as humans can. We are adapted by evolution. Sad that we don’t live longer then we humans do due to Earth harsh conditions if we were to live a longer more gentle life we would have had a bigger opportunity to develop our knowledge, wisdom and culture consciously. I hope by me as an example as a human being made them become more humble to us as a species in multiverse as I call it. Sad though that i am not someone that people in power would listen to.

After figure it out concerning the holistic yin and yang matrix, I told you about in my previous letter, i made contact with a friend of my younger sister and husband. He is Doctor in theoretical physics. With the help from my writing on the subject and my model/matrix he told me he was able to do mathematic calculations he had never before being able to do. Then of a sudden he asked me if I’ve ever experienced something out of the ordinary. And I told him just yes summer 1990. Then he said: “How extraordinary so did i! That was so strange that happened to me so I left Australia because an urge to go to Sweden without knowing why.”(!?) Sad enough i stopped seeing him when it felt like he was attracted to me, not wanting to encourage him, him being married with two children and all.
Also already in 1990 they tried to show me their truth and knowledge about what we here on Earth call the periodic system and how we don’t have a thorough understanding and they continued 2009. And they showed me different models. Who can I show them to? It might come in handy to understand what to do with plutonium. They have tried to transmit these models before but as i understood it this has just rendered humanity religious images.
So how to reach out?
Do you see now that my story is quite different? Who can believe this?
All aliens are not “goodhearted” and in some cases their intentions are good but things they do don’t always serve us (- as this genetic project. Even so the indigo project can open up for contact) Because- They don’t respect and understand our culture and look down on us. They have been patronizing. Still we must have respect for their demands on us giving up our nuclear pollutions radiations and blasts – for the sake of all our good in multiverse. It affects them and they say it threatens all civilizations out there, all the balance in the creation as a whole.
I am trying to reach out, as it is my mission. And ask yourself please- if you don’t believe this – who will?

All the same I am just a messenger. What they showed me in images I do not understand fully and what to do with it practically. Someone might but who to turn to? I am not scientifically skilled so who would listen? I am not looking for fortune and certainly not fame. My name should not be known. I am perfectly satisfied in my identity and role as a mother and caretaker of our dog. I live a life close to nature and like ordinary things like flowers, going out with the dog, cooking food and some practical creative stuff like mending and sewing. Sad enough P who was honoured as a sort of supreme human being is not doing so well anymore. He does not receive any more money from any involved organization. He lives on social welfare and seems to have gone deep into alcohol and drug abuse. Cocaine and hashish. He visits me from time to time. Often he gives hints about aliens and what has happened. But he seems scared. He broke up with the woman that he had his “holy” child with. He lives nowadays in the social welfare’s homes. I hope that he one day finally speaks to me in a sober state. Well he revealed to me that i had keystroke spy ware on my computer as i suspected and also that his ex has seen everything I have done/written on my computer. I don’t know when this will be over. I got in control of my breathing by the end of 2009. In august the same year I showed my sister my strange breathing ability. She was stunned. I also told her what had happened. She thought it sounded like science fiction and thought I should write a book and earn lots of money :-D. Well things were far out. All lights were out in the surrounding buildings a whole weekend. It started to snow in September just outside my house. The warm water stopped flowing. The water stopped from pouring down.!!! People in the building were running down the stairs slamming the door all the time but no one was there when i looked through the window. That weekend in September was as my house and me was sealed off in a strange way. Not one car in the street during a whole weekend. Not one single call. As if time and space was ruled out. What to do but to laugh! At the same time it was scary. The organizations involved must have put a lot of effort into this and must have thought it was important. Well they took all the expenses and had P in training and paid him to interact with me. Well I started soon to report on my computer about P and his doings and sayings. So they found out that he lied and crossed them. He was being punished he told me by what he called the police and was sent over to my place! I don’t know what he tried to make them believe. But I had my ideas. So by telling on him I hoped this all would stop. I wrote them what this all actually was all about and that they were silly vain fanatic quasi-religious fools and that should stop and go back to ordinary living with loved ones. I told them that they wouldn’t be rescued in case of a global disaster. By being undemocratic in this manner they have automatically disqualified themselves to be part of any higher civilization. Also the “testing” i had gone through showed that our bodies are not really compatible to theirs and therefore we won’t survive without severe damages on their planets. Just as they are not really fit to live on our planet. So these hybrids created are poor creatures that don’t really fit in anywhere. Imagining a child with human heritance growing up without a real mother. Try to imagine that you would have an offspring that never were to see you and who is never hugged by you. I don’t accept that. That is inhuman whatever claims they might have on being supreme compared to us.

Well so P found me backed up by these powerful organizations. He connected to me by the help of the training he received. He does not scare me. Nor am I scared of these mighty organizations. I can’t afford that sort of. I feel sorry for them getting it all wrong. They thought it was for a good cause after their convictions. They harmed the purpose while interfering. They should have contacted me personally in real life. Not just sending P. They have contributed to his life being torn apart. And now they have left him. He should get help just as people that have been part of sects. From uplifted prince to a poor bum. He needs his drugs to feel superior and uplifted as before because his present reality he can’t cope. One day i think he will tell me all about it.

This i know sounds like psychotic symptoms. Well but I am alive. And i am doing pretty well. What has happened has happened. But still as you can see I’m in need to talk to someone initiated in these issues. I go to a authorized therapist in the states service. Well she tells me that I don’t have any psychotic symptoms even if I have told her this. (and she is the only one i have really told. But she is not familiar with it as you are and can’t really show me how to relate to all this. I would like to pass on what they -the others out there -have tried to show me. It could make a change. It might help science. Do you by any chance know somebody competent and reliable close to Sweden, which you might recommend?


Dear M …I know this is a strange cry for help. It all sounds mad even to myself. I have looked for stories like mine but have not found it.

Still if I in any way could contribute and make way for a change it would mean that all terrifying things I have gone through has been worthwhile. Still I don’t know if this is over. Out of the ordinary there was once more thunder late at night outside and that just don’t happen in March up here in Sweden. As with the other strange weather occurrences – nothing mentioned in the media.

Thank you for taking time to read this. English is not my native language. I’d be most grateful to hear from you. And I hope that you don’t dismiss it all as just madness.

Kindest regards


24 april 2011

Dear M,
Have just read what I sent to you. I am terribly sorry for all writing and spelling errors. Also I’m not good at typing. I wrote just wrote it down as it came as I was eager to just tell you about my experiences. If you want I could correct it to make it easier for you to read. Also if you have questions please don’t hesitate to ask. I’d be most happy to do so.

Also – I understand it there are a lot of people that have had similar messages. In my case a lot of symbols and processes concerning science which i suspect others have had too. I think it would be a good idea to collect these kinds of experiences to figure out a more comprehensive “picture” of what the others out there are trying to tell us humans about scientific issues. I’d be glad to share all my images/symbols. I think a project like this would lead us all forward. (it seams as they have been trying to tell me about “electromagnetism” -on micro and macro and hollo scale. processes models etc. ) If all testimonies were put together maybe our scientists could make use of it. For instance maybe cleaner energy, clean up nuclear waste, new kind of engines, clean the water 🙂 (Of course this knowledge in the end should serve us all on the planet and not be used in a monopolistic sense by companies for just profit, if you see what I mean.)
Could this sort of “collection” be done in an organized way?

What do you think about this idea?

Kindest regards


25 april 2011
Thank’s for getting back to me!

Have you heard any rumours about these secret societies?
Have anybody reported that there are human secret organizations that have struck deals with some kind of civilization out there?

Oh, and sorry to say that i was unable to read your attached document. Could you please send it in another format?

“I have Pages of pictures of different beings on U tube you will only see a handful.” -Could you please guide me to find it?

And are there other pages you would recommend where I can read about others with similar reports/cases? *** yes and there are a number of experiencers that have some similar not identical experiences and downloads of complex information

Thanks for your recommendation! 🙂 I will contact Rauni Kilde.

Kindest regards


3 maj 2011

Did some research on Scientology today and found out what it was all about. I am in deep shit and now. i worry. I am up against big powerful organizations and I don’t want to be all-alone in this. (Rauni never got back to me)
This is the page I found. Please read it. The address bellow is their mission. Urgent you should read about it. Maybe you ought to make some kind of contact.


5 maj 2011

I never received your mail from 2011-04-29 kl. 04.40.!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are messing with my connection. I have never been in contact with the scientology or any secret occult or new age movement. I stay in my ordinary life. P told me that The Scientologist were behind things. They had been, as I understood supported him and trained him. He was out there in the neighbourhood to seek me up. The only contact I had concerning my experiences 1990 was Ulansey in California by mail.
I get these messages to destroy the connections between these powerful organizations that are allied with the mean aliens that have their own agenda for Earth. The other civilizations out there are trying to help us and inform us.
There exist a sort of weapon out there in space that can be directed with precision as laser beams to Earth. It’s very advanced (I was under some kind of attack -09. )

Found on the internet yesterday information: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x53t41_new-world-order-ultimate-weapon-haa_news
This Sunday I did a search on Illuminati. And the effect that it head on my brain. Read the defectors interview. i know that it’s a long one . But there it tells about the initial aim of Hubbard and how it was taken over by Illuminati?! As I’m under attic telepathically by these trained Scientologists or whatever they might call themselves I get help from the others outside and their different morphology which i was taught in the beginning of 2009. The say they will then take the blows from within ands without. This is mind-blowing but i try to be constructive. It is a strange war going on now concerning Earth. Aren’t there more people out there that have got messages about this? Strange. I’ll send this at once.


5 maj 2011

Read and spread to others to give a picture of things that are threatening us. I will try to explain how what and why I understood things. Now I’ve been hiding this for such a long time so i ought to step out now to make things happen.
Maybe this is not the complete story and explanations and all the interconnected messages and images. It might be hard to take it all in but at least give it a try to read it. Have an open mind like it was fiction. Some of you might have complementary knowledge and information that you could mail me. No secrecy on my behalf but you can stay anonymous. Oh and excuse my English. Not my language.

I need write more consistent and clearer to you M. The ones out there guide me by what we might call inspiration or intuition and visions in part. When my eyes are passing over the surface on the computer screen I sort of get alert like a sort of heightening of senses as if waking up when already woken up. What they have shown me through imagery mainly symbolic ones are connections. The connections lead to these secrets about a certain secret order on Earth. The ones connected to these symbols are as it seems the masons, scull and bones and the catholic church (maybe more organizations and sects). Many of the symbols they use are actually Mithraic. They have tried to lead me the ones out there to figure it all out.

The Mithras cult was the major cult and religion in Rome at the last turning of times -The era of the fishes. After Rome was christened the symbols from the Mithraism cult was still in use. The masons have used his typical Phrygian cap as a symbol of freedom and power. For instance on the national symbol of France Marianne (can be seen on their stamps), also you can find them on American official buildings and on emblems. Hecate is a sort of counterpart of Mithras and she stand in the harbour with her torch as the statue of liberty. It was a gift from the freemasons in France to the US.

One must ask oneself why these Christian countries and also the Vatican have these Mithraic (“heathen”) symbols still in use. People usually don’t think about these things more than just being decorative. But for a few initiated they have a sort of religious meaning. The few initiated know their meaning. Mithras is the turner of times and now is the time for the new time – Aquarius. So their expectation is that with the new time there will be a new order. (Like a new second coming) One might say it that the highly ranked in the cult are the ones that are truly initiated in these secrets. They keep their secrets to themselves and have their own codes codex and agenda. These most powerful people are mainly Americans as i understand it. They call themselves patriots and Christians. They are Christian in the sense that they put a lot into the book of revelation. So they are believers! Indoctrinated fanatics i wonder. They are also profane and this association organize people of the power elite- law, politics, military, secret agencies, and of course the magnates of big companies and industries.

(The Mithras cult was open for all free men. His name was the friend. There was strict loyalty obedience secrecy and initiation in many levels. They practiced their cult in underground caves with the twelve zodiac signs surrounding them in the room. That is how Hitler organized his highest closest initiates. The Mithras cult was practiced by soldiers and the Lego soldiers brought their practices up north where the sacred alphabet was transformed into runes when carved into wood. Part of Hitler’s practice to use the runes as magical device. (What Hitler share symbolically with these sects mentioned above are the chalice and the quest for it. He was convinced that he was the second coming. Not only the swastika was the emblem but also the eagle. The swastika is not only just an emblem it can symbolically be interpreted It is the Indian sun wheel which one might say represents the turning of times. George Bush senior’s father aided Hitler with the build-up of war capacity with loans. But not just that – he provided Hitler’s air force with special components of petrol so he could have them flying in the air to bomb! He was nearly convicted of crime against the nation but all of a sudden the charges were dropped, as I understood it.

Not much of Mithraic cult is known, as it was a secret cult. The strange thing is that beneath many churches of Rome there are Mithras caves.

Ulansey is the most renowned scholar on the Mithraic cult. The only things there is to study when it comes to the Mitraic mystery are the iconography and the symbols. So he must have done extensive searches on the symbols which of course have lead him to the freemasons (and the Illuminati and sculls and bones) (In June this year David Ulansey will release a book on mystery cults)

I described the imagery to Ulansey. The only one whom i wrote to and told.
And all these symbols fitted in to the imagery that is connected to this secret cult. Even what i had performed fitted in to the seven initiation steps of the Mithraic cult. All this I found out afterwards. The eagle coming down – at first as a dot in a circle. That I found yesterday is a Masonic symbol. One of the three names they from the outer civilizations gave me was Ara. Which meaning is eagle in really old languages, (in Latin it means altar) Axa the second name mean axe or year of corn- the changing of time an the symbol for electro magnetic field. Aia they explained the vowels meaning for life and the body- A meaning life I meaning death A meaning life. These were my options alternatives to be. (The Ar(a)menian god Ara coming down with the Alphabet. The eagle landing in sequence in the circle Y , X, A then at place as an omega opening up. To omegas meeting- two eagles meeting- the symbols magnetic field of Earth the apple split in two the butterfly and the double axe. Also a meeting point in time the two A’s in the opening of the outer omegas= the two cones uniting as if the seal of Solomon) Unity!) This is what they transmitted to me. (Told Ulansey)
They warned me that if we weren’t successful as i was shown somehow Earth it’s magnetic field might turn into a ring instead of keeping its “spherical” shape.

So now to the Scientologist- I did not know anything about scientology until i began to do my search on the internet the other day. Extraordinary what first came up was http://projectcamelot.org/dane_tops.html. My initial search was Illuminati and scientology. The deflector who is interviewed tells about Hubbard’s initial idea, which was to strengthen mankind’s mind to interact with the good forces in outer civilizations to hinder the hostile aliens that has deceived man and are trying to take over Earth. He tells about what happened to the Scientologist movement that it was being taken over by Illuminati’s and other secret agencies as i understood it., the ones that have made pacts with the dangerous aliens. They isolated Hubbard and the initial goal was lost.

(So there you go Ulansey has been in contact with Masons) -Illuminati has control over scientology church?! Scientology church has this knowledge about and training in mind expansion telepathy and mind control. That’s where P received his training. He was sent out for the quest to find me. Maria X tall thin dark dancer dog creative. (Artemis/Diana motif) At first he mistook another woman that shared this characteristics. Then he found me. He changed his whole attitude and just said: You are Her! . Then after a short while he left to California once more and got more teaching. Financed by them probably. Met him again in March 2009 and it was then he practiced the mind control that he has learned.

I let him visit me still because he is the only one i have been in real contact with since this started so he is the only one who can reveal the truth of the project formulated to him. He has given me strange handshakes and has put his hand in front of his face in the shape of a pyramid. He also have used one you put under heated pots to protect the table in wrought iron in the shape of his face several times which is in a shape of a pentagram inside a circle. All these signs are Masonic and Illuminati. He looks into my eyes firmly at this occasion as to say that these are clues and answers to your questions.

He’s scared of them. He has talked about the scary “police”. And as I told you in a previous letter the scientologists has what call the police my friend told me. And as the deflector said in his interview the scientologist now belong to the Illuminati and the kind of secret government in the US. And these secret organizations are acting together for this new world order. They are actually religious fanatics as a sect with it’s own cults. Sad that they have infiltrated crucial institutions of the American society. This group of people is into racial stuff they think that they are the chosen elected superior ones of the right bloodline.

2009 was a really hard year for me. I was sort of burned out in my brain during 2010 and was only capable of resting. Now I have recovered and as it seems my brain ability. (As I might have told you i have never ever been into yoga meditation mind control remote viewing what so ever. Still i have all these sort of strange abilities. They have surprised me and scared me.) Know i am in touch by the others again the community out there that is trying to help us battle these strange forces. We are mutual friends. I wish i were more ‘susceptible’ than I am. I was stronger 2009. I haven’t recovered entirely yet.

They have tried to transmit a lot of things to me to make me understand what is going on.
When it comes to the scientific. They out there share this knowledge. Some on Earth has taken part of this scientific knowledge too. But this advanced knowledge is apparently kept secret to serve military purposes instead of mankind and for the better of the planet. Me not being scientifically skilled don’t know what to do with it more the to try to tell someone out there willing to listen.

They have sort of visited us through history. And they seem to have “planted information”. Also about preparing us for days to come. This is to help us all out against totalitarian hidden powers. They have sort of travelled through our history to pave way for this time to come. And that time is now. We are actually at a sort of war without publicly knowing about it. They sort of deliver inspiration and impulses to people. Often they are open-minded free and artistic. The artists and writers act but also inventors as a sort of forerunner. It all can lead up to understanding especially if we would be more open-mindedly interdisciplinary. Which we sadly enough aren’t quite yet. Humanistic topics on one side such as literature history of religion, comparative mythology and all kinds of science on the other-That don’t even mix with each other as i have understood it.

First there was this strange electro-physical sort of yoga initiation I spontaneously went through in the beginning of 2009 when they all connected. So painful. Then came other things.
They sent me visions (of the future (?!) -09 they showed me Barak Obama. It was a close-up in a kind of blue light. He was in a coma. In the room was Michelle I heard her voice. She was trying to wake him up and have him out of his coma.

At another time she was trying to convince him to take the full picture in what was going on in closed room within the corridors of power, behind the scenes. She was furious because he refused to take it in. She threatened to leave him if he could not get to terms with the true reality of things. He did not want to believe her. And she said that he was a fool not to believe. She told him to act. That everything could be lost if he did not do anything – at once!

In another vision they showed me P lying in a room making love to this incredibly beautiful human creature with Asian features with lovely flower tattoos on her shoulder. It was a beautiful love scene. With a such a gentle warm feeling. Then the room changed it character. It was harsh lightning and very clinical. He was continuing in his lovely lovemaking but the creature beneath was not the woman he thought and she did not share his sensation anymore. She was a grey ugly alien that was being used for the purpose and she was just lying absolutely still. He was manipulated in his head -it was an inner projection. They were breading hybrids. That’s how i found out about alien hybrids.

Their preparation of me-
So when this started for me 1990 the dreams and quest they had me to go through was to prepare me as a human. It took a long time to catch up with all the things I had experienced to understand the interrelated things they tried to show me.

91 or 92 they sent this strange vision.: Sitting in a wooden lodge high up in the mountains. An American in the room says she should have apple blossoms in the hair. The sun raises and I open the door. I say to the others you can leave all rusty weapons. We don’t need them anymore. We start walking through the forest of birches and fir trees. In the branches there are apples and then i see next to the apples something glittering of dew. Spiderweb with sleeping sparrows in them. I look down on my clothes. I’m wearing a Greek short tunic and sandals. We approach a grove later. Somebody says -What is he doing there? I look down and there is a goat with horns next to me. He looks up at me and I just say -He belongs with me. (Artemis/Diana motif-the goddess of wild life etc.) I wrote this to Ulansey. So there was more then the mythological motif of Andromeda i performed in Finland. The link to Perseus equated to Mithras by Ulansey.

Then my mother’s aunt Goat – Ruth dies. My mother buys a box with old books at the auction. At an impulse i pick one out to read. It’s a real old copy of Esmeralda by Victor Hugo. It is also called Notre dame or the ringer of Notre dame. The original story is far from those you can see in films. This is a hermetic book, which describes how alchemy is misunderstood. It’s about the secret hidden maiden the gypsy girl that does not now her true heritance. She dances in the street accompanied by her companion a goat (Artemis/Diana motif) She is arrested by this horrible man that practices Alchemy. And she is accused by him and then trialed. Victor Hugo is told to be the highest Freemason in France during 19th century. He was a grand master. Beginning to sound a bit like the Da Vinci story by Dan Brown doesn’t it?!

I think it was 97 – the dream was interrupted. There was this old man with a grim face trying to communicate. I could not take it in what he said. I was a stunned by his wings. He had two pair of wings big swan wings and wings of a kingfisher. Then the alarm went off. A couple of days later i passed a bookshop and there was this face again. The title was: The Arian Christ – the secret life of CG Jung. (Richard Noll) In it there are description of Aion the turner of times, with two sets of wings as i remember it – kingfishers wings and big white ones (Aion =Mithras)

People have gone on about Nostradamus. So i had heard some. An image on the internet caught my eye and I found the book from where it was taken:
Nostradamus the lost manuscripts by Ottavio Cesare Ramotti. plate 70 and plate 72 check it out. The text under plate 72 tells about in part of times to come and the women on the plate are honouring Diana in the shape of a roebuck. The roebuck in the thicket that I think Robert Graves speaks about in The White Goddess.

So all these are sort of hidden information of time to come and of crucial importance for me to mature into understanding the connection to this New Order organizations. Now i am revealing their secrets after all the aid i have had from the others. The new world order is related to the ideas Adolf Hitler had. I represent the opposite as most of us do. Not sure but I think they chose P as a sort of Mithras. P’s name mean cliff and Mithras was born out of a cliff. You see that the civilizations out there have communicated about hidden secrets. Secrets that are of great importance to this occult sects as Illuminati and freemasons etc. Their crude vain idea of a sacred second coming. At is basis they are occult religious and are antidemocratic. And they are involved and seduced by this alien race.

So these people thought that there would be a battle between the harlot of Babylon and the saviour. Me and P. Actually as Apollo and Artemis are twins we two are friends nowadays whatever they wanted. These motifs/images were given to me to understand previous warnings and predictions to figure out who on Earth that were behind this secret new order and their probable allies or deceitful aliens. They tell me they are not part of the community out there.

But that is not important. What is important is that these people give up their quasi-religious ideas and realize that all humans are actually exposed to an Alien threat! The strange secret collaboration has to stop and it’s time to rethink and revaluate. And we are in a hurry. And that Haarp experiment is an indication of that there are threats, severe ones probably to our magnetic field, which could render us all cancer apart from geological instability. The haarp project as it is described as in the documentary see link below would mean that this group of humans already might have received some knowledge about the laws of electro magnetism. This sort of shield weapon might also prevent us from getting help from others out there- i don’t know. Still it seems humans are playing with fire for the moment. This message from them is not to create enemies but to make these organized group to rethink. It is about sustaining and repairing restoring this planet. Not just nature but also to deal with the magnetic field. Now they have given me symbols an lots of codes that are interconnected in a way that include science and myths holistically. It could unite religions science mythology and we could have a better understanding also better understanding of hour history and our future. The matrixes and models show how we are all interconnected in the universe or rather the multiverse. The yin and yan model with each yin and yang within them contains a yin and yang. And if we don’t listen the friendly ones might take actions and then there will be a sort of Armageddon.
There are more people I understand that have had encounters/visions that are connected to this. Send this document to whoever. Just Anybody. I am doing this Finnish my mission to be able to live an ordinary life I am so tired of this. 20 years of my life encounters and with UFO’s several times. I want to live a peaceful life on day. They have been warning us now about the dangers with our nuclear emission and interference of their frequency field and how we threaten the balance in the holistic multiverse. It is time to be careful with our physical and biological experiments. It is time to act. Soon it might be to late. We are responsible.

!!!!! Now I have explained how i began to understand these secret organizations and what they have been up to. I have no solid proof so this is a sort of case or understanding built on indicium’s and visions you might say. I am just an “involuntary” messenger, was never a seeker. Want no fame fortune or power. And I am not suited at all for lecturing. I don’t want being a public person at all.:-)

All the best to you and all the rest of you.

You can find me on Facebook. Add me as a friend.

By spreading my name and what has happened to me will make me feel more secure in my present strange kind of role as a whistle blower. Seems as if anything can happen.



Hi A
Re the covert groups best information is on Project Camelot.


6 maj 2011 11.41.01

Thank you I’ll get in touch with them! 🙂



** what ET race do you believe that is?

Small grey white ones that are programmed sort of by a superior race. They have an ant like hierarchic society and they are sort of programmed. They are not like others out there. The others out there can’t communicate with them for this reason. Their sort of officers i kind of saw them as having red eyes. They belong to the ones that sort of can transform and feels like as if thunder is emerging. The thunder ones are neutralized by water chlorophyll and organic material. They can sort of dissolve you. They can alter things about you in a damaging way. The good out there tries to restore it. The good ones can look a bit like the others there are different grey ones out there one is with slit eyes and looks and walks like a really old man another one is really big with a huge chest and is strong as a lion but feels human. Another of the team today is someone that kind of has horns or antennas. One has a head as if it were a cone. One has like a big round scull. Then there is this dark ash blue-brownish with short black hair and beautiful slender body. There is one really strange one that can transform and sort of split up. They have had disagreements but today they are more together about their opinion about the humans and they are united against the “hierarchic ant society”. But as they are programmed they can’t be reasoned with. As I understood it they are out on Earth with a plan to fill their supplies because they are after minerals?! The other ones are trying to understand the good science to make us aware of how to take better care of our planet. They are battling with the others but we humans must fulfil this agreement on the holistic balance and not interfere on frequencies. Oh, and there are others from a dimension that is the one complementary to Earth. Have you heard of any of these? Oh and not to forget there are also the dimension of the dead. All of these beings have sort their own frequencies in the inner cosmos of the mind. It is as if the inner mind is space inverted.
Ämne: just remembered the Bilderberg group in all this.
6 maj 2011

Just been out walking the dog and it seems that memories get refreshed when I started writing about these other beings.
There is also this strangest of beings that communicated from within. He was the one who showed be how to breath through the side of the neck and the side of the lungs. He has the eyes sort of on the sides and he moves like a fish. Then it was he who sounded like an American speaking Indian. He was a human as he was in a frequency closer to my body as blood and flesh. He spoke with a slow deep voice. When I completely relaxed and put myself in a mental zero position his voice was heard through my mouth. He spoke about nature. He said he was close in his mentality to me. He did this when I walked through the forest with the dog.

I remember now trying to show the “ant mentality creatures” that we on Earth live in symbiosis with ant like societies such as bees and ants / anthills and beehives. With out them our ecosystem would not function.

There were also humanlike creatures. And I let them dance in me and I wonder if they aren’t humans. I had them all dancing. By experiencing their energy flows in my body I could dance “with them”. I thought that I should have them entertained. Sick isn’t it.

Oh and I encountered this Russian ballet dancer. !!I let him take over my body. I was dancing like a god to classical music and you know I have never danced classic in my life. (I showed my sister how i could move like a kung fu master and she was shocked, as I am actually been crippled since 10 years.) There are some many from the other side of the dead into this. Not just my dead relatives. There are others they sort of knock from their sphere from within and you can hear them with their own voices and intonations.

This was nice having these encounters as i did not have anyone in real life to talk to. When these strange clusters of dangerous energy fields were summoned around me, my house and my neighbourhood then i came to the understanding that i had to leave. I was protected by energy fields of the dead but they could not hold out. My apartment electrical charge was running loose and weird sounds were coming out as the sounds you can hear from those wires that transports electricity. My DVD player started to burn. (I remembered my father staying the night in December telling me that the Mobil phone shone so much from my room that he could not sleep also the charging lamp from my electrical toothbrush shone so strong that he had to pull it out from the wall.)

Told my ex husband J that they have found me and whatever will happen I love him and I know you will take good care of F our son and B. I could not have them close to me because I was afraid of them getting “affected”. Because the dog started to act really weird and F seemed to be so connected to me as being psychic. The period to come was a long one without having them in my home and seeing them. I was devastated but i had no choice. I knew that all this might mean never to see them again. Just horrible.

That strange electrical cluster around forced me to leave and travel. The signboard at Arlanda airport went strange so i had to pilots to guide me and help me fix my tickets to my destination to France. I went there to escape these thunder beings for not keeping track with me. Spent some days in Paris the fishlike being had me walking for 14 hours in Paris to alter my smell/charge i don’t know which. I don’t know why but i also did it to help P that was in some kind of danger. All of a sudden the name Bilderberg Group came into my head. Did they track me and my Visa cards? Don’t know. I had just heard that name once before and that was when i shared studio with Kathrin 17 years earlier. This memory of that came up so vividly in my mind as i was experiencing that single occasion all over again. Had they been monitoring my whereabouts all the time- digitally?!

Then i might as well leave Paris now. That was after those tiny flying creatures had me walk down to Fontain Blue to secure the egg the hostile beings were after. That was a 4-hour walk without breathing normally but as the fish being. Paris was a terrible struggle.

So I took a plane from Paris to Copenhagen transit via Oslo heading to Stockholm. Then I got this warning- IT WONT BE A SAFE TRIP. THE ELECTRICAL CHARGE CLUSTER WILL AFFECT THE ELECTRONIC SYSTEM AND THE PLANE MIGHT CRASH. ACT! So long before landing i inform the stewardess that there will be problems with landing and the pilot should not use any autopilot. This was so weird i knew I was making a fool out of myself but i had no choice. I insisted when she told me that there are seldom problems and it’s an experienced pilot. I think I said to her that i am psychic so therefore I know just tell him. We have nothing to loose – No autopilot! Please. So she did. Arlanda airport approaches… it’s a sunny and cloud free day the plane start to act weirdly and starts to bump and i can sense anxiety from the pilots being just in front of my seat. They seem to work hard to straighten the plane and it’s course but the pilot makes it. Oh I remember telling the Stewardess about the Bilderberg group and that governments should be informed knowing that the police will pick me up now. They will think i am crazy also that i showed signs of not being able to breath normally anymore. So the police brought me to the mental ward after telling him in distress about my breathing problem.

So I met this fairly young tall female doctor who seemed nice and I showed her how I was stuck into this strange breathing holding my nose closed with my hand and shutting my mouth walking around for minutes demonstrating. She was stunned and said I see it but I don’t know how to help you … I have to cal my superior doctor to ask for help. She came back and said He says it can’t be true it is never heard of. And that was when they looked me up in the mental ward. They let me out after a short period, as they did not find anything wrong with me.

During this period in France and after in Stockholm I felt Petrus different kind of walk in my legs as trying to help me move or if it was that I made use of his legs that I don’t know as he does not dare to speak (because the Scientology and what he calls the police?)

The other humans interfering in this “mind project” are the Masonic people and those who are stupid enough as it seem to be allies with the dangerous aliens, The masons I don’t know if they have been tricked into this. They have tried to steer me contra productively and there seem to have been this crazy idea of this second coming weather it would be between a man or a woman. Sort of a Jesus or Maria, or M Magdalene, maybe both a Mithras. There are many options in this. It seems that the French has been into M Magdalene Merovingian stuff and also the themes by Victor Hugo in Esmeralda. The American masons seem into the book of revelations and the harlot of Babylon and M Magdalene as a whore. It feels as if but I’m not sure but these are more connected to those aliens in the electric cluster. I might be so that the masons have been deceived. As I felt the French mason crying from his frequency within. Then there seem to be a group of sort of students Americans that are involved also a group of people connected to IT and internet somehow. They are innocent and have been used. Some have had training in mind powers. It is as they thought of this as an amazing fantastic game to begin with. Like an interactive mysterious computer game. But as i told you before this is on a different scale and they had never been informed. I wish that some of them would have the courage to step forward and tell. They thought it was all for a good cause and I am not angry with them although they were contra productive and interfered with what I was trying to achieve. People who have been mislead in turn have misled them. I guess there are many people out there that have gone through this trauma not getting any help. Also I know that there are people out there that are furious with me. And those are the ones that scare me for the moment…and this letter does not make things less scary. But I think if my story gets out finally there will be more difficult for them to do anything about me, and also to get to “P”.

Well everything nowadays stereos phones mobiles TV radio Internet everything is through digital systems. And I tell you that they have been fooling around with my systems. But I don’t care if they actually are checking me out. Guess they really know a lot about me. I have nothing to hide. They are the ones breaking the law. Not much bad things on my conscience. Maybe I put you into problems but what choice do I have. I can’t do this on my own. And I want this to be known before something was to happen to me.

Of course they and also you can dismiss me as a lunatic and I guess I am in many senses. But still I have no choice.

Kindest regard

Why don’t you add me as a friend on Facebook 🙂 Well there you can see my face. Good to see the face that belongs to the name 🙂

Writing just as it comes out so I have no spelling check. Sorry about that
Ämne: Maybe useful for others exposed as i was.
6 maj 2011

What has protected me and this I had to remind me of all the time.
Wool, silk, sleeping on sheep fur, water, milk, to use wool or silk socks, to walk in the rain, to walk where it is very much green trees and plants and chlorophyll. Don’t stop eating. Don’t stop sleeping. Stay balanced. Stick to organic material. Like leather shoes. I know this sound strange. But they are far from us as we are adapted to this planet. They like minerals so keep salt down. Fish milk eggs milk vegetables olive oil white wine, water, should be part of the food. I also turned off the electricity. Had candlelights instead. I smeared my body into different vegetable oil. They hated all “live” materials. They are manipulative so they sent impulses that you might loose appetite for instance. Avoid fasting. Avoid thunder. Meeting people with love and joy. Love gives strength.


Maybe this can help others affected.
Ämne: Re: To M
7 maj 2011
I have never checked P’s palm. You mean for the strokes. But I looked as his hands once and the don’t look like mine. I found them chubby and actually ugly. A bit horrible thing to say but I found them ugly. My hands or palms are bigger with a lot longer fingers.
But as you might remember I had this odd interference in my dream by this older man with a firm expression and with wings…..that turned out to be C.G Jung. Ulansey published on his website a painting done by CG Jung so I went out to buy a book 2004. : C.G Jung Word and Image, Princeton Bollingen Series XCVII . 2
There I found this photo of the palm of Jungs hand. I don’t know the scale but when I put my hand on to the photo. My hand was the exact size and as I compared the palms we had nearly exact strokes. On my opposite hand. I was stunned.


7 maj 2011
There I found Jungs image: light in the core of darkness. Surrounded by a dragon Stella Draconis in the centre of the sky. I saw the magnetic corona of Earth 1990 February like an inverted sun in zenith in the middle of the night at my grandmother’s place up north in the landscape of Varmland. This was shortly after encountering the dark beautiful being. So therefore after encountering him in my dreams and having met this Jung in my dream I felt I had to buy the book that I mentioned where I found that photo of his palm. When I saw the palm it felt that it was a message. I you ever check that book out you will see that I have big hands for being a woman. 😀 Well you should know that I am about 6 feet tall.
Ämne: anonomuos secret security soldier special command US in contact/new physics/
8 maj 2011
I know my story is a complex one. It so crazy all this. There is an anonymous secret security soldier special command US who showed me this today!!!!! There must be something going on on a grand scale. I am getting guided on my computer.!!!!!!??

Is what I have been subjected to? This explains a lot of my strange bodily sensations head and heart since spring 2009. Above all like burning headaches as if burning beams? Never had any headaches of sorts earlier. How is this world really organized?!

P visited me yesterday. He says things in the cryptic way. His ex girlfriend seams really scared. Heard them talking. I told him to beware of the people he met in California Beware of those you have called the Scientologs and the “Police”. And he said before leaving that i was a true witch and could write his biography. And then he said you have never been up there meeting the alien Devil. P is now leaving Stockholm for the continent the coming week. He said he was going to inherit money and then he would like to take me on a long trip. And come to think of it he has tried to make me leave and move since May 2009. (He is almost on the move all the time)

I had the message that the HAARP system is keeping the good aliens away.
December 08 my father reacted on the strong lights from my electrical equipment. Spring 09 the electricity system went high wire. Thought someone targeted my head and me with laser because the pain was so precise. Had that sensation in my home with starting spring 09. My mind as a battlefield. The beams altered sort of. (Felt there were some navy satellites over arctica. And that they had tetroid programming in the magnetic field of Earth) the once out there warned me that tetraoid programming is an immense threat to mankind. That was how they could isolate my building in February in time and space. They had the coordinates of my entire building. A friend of mind began to talk about some experiment with a ship that disappeared in an experiment the other day when i had the guts to mention the odd things that happened to my building. When the sunlight was not functioning and when there where no cars in the street for a whole weekend and no people in the street and when it started to snow in September just outside my house!?!? They showed me that by tetraoid programming things start to dissolve. I saw like a swarm of dark particles (shit now I start to remember that traumatic year better.) I was starting to dissolve the “swarm” entering my chest. A black hole the command in my head warned me. I was outdoor close to a lawn at a park close to my house where i live in Hjorthagen North inner city of Stockholm. I became terrified and in the shadows of a tree the grass was still wet of dew so i pull up my shirt and lay down and buried my nose face mouth into the grass and then the breathing became easier and after a while i could move. Can it be so that the system does not work when it’s wet outside?

They explained that the tetroid or crystal structure is the fundamental structure of nature and Earth. If you “magnetically program” in this sort of structure the creation is severely damaged or even get destroyed. This sort of magnetic structure is actually tunnels that make up a meeting point like a six pointed star or a crossroad that point in six alternative directions. In the tunnel space and time act differently. (On the earth surface these star points at the right time has been like star gates for ancient people. This knowledge about these tunnel and openings enables the others from out there to travel in another dimension of space and time. Probably they know how to find them or create openings to these “tunnel” that enables them to just vanish. Here is where my Matrix comes into the picture.
(That yin and yang kind where black stand for absorbing all frequencies and white emits all frequencies. They are each other’s inversions and each of the stable dots that as a whole are stable within the stable shield contains themselves a yin and yang. So all black are related all the whites are related. And black and white is opposites and therefore complementary. Black absorbs all colours – white reflexes all colours. (I have other models too of particle physics when it comes to atoms)

This started to pour out my brain 89 it ended 91 and begun again middle of February 09. By using a weapon like this that make things dissolve might not that be as if creating a black hole? I am targeted…………

On Youtube:
Mind Control (repost) / Blue Beam related to Haarp:



Weathermen know about H.A.A.R.P.
????!!! Well strange weather phenomena has been surrounding my house


Blue Beam Holographic Testing in Sierra Vista, AZ FT Huachuca 2/2
Ämne: Re: just remembered the Bilderberg group in all this.
14 maj 2011
P = Petrus B. was here Thursday the 12th. I asked him apart from those Scientologist who else are in on this- He then hid behind a plant in my kitchen and said in English “behind the Bushes”. He also said that he had excellent training. He does something with his eyes. He stares in a very strange way. He said something bout the Alien -the devil. (Then he said he was going to have 5 more children and they will be rescued. Hey he has 2 already he’s not taking care of.) He said once more being the elected one. Son of the devil he said!? Then he said remember sepia rot English= sepia root. I did after he left. He is speaking in riddles. Maybe he is monitored. cepi root or something meant onion and sepia is the colour of squid?!
So now he confirmed that the buses were in to this. I will put all my correspondence on a USB memory stick. In case something was to happen to me. I have tried to reach out to some more people concerning all my strange experiences. No one apart from you has answered my calls for help. I fear this is the oddest story and i am dismissed as being a lunatic. i understand it is easy to do this. But if people from different disciplines with knowledge about science hermeticm mind control comparative mythology aliens UFO abductions secret societies cults New world order you will see that it adds up in a very scary way. I fear -it has to with mankind’s future. And it will happen soon. Oh and just found that the harp project is linked to the Earthquakes. The guy who had made a film i saw on Internet presented statistic on a row of Earthquakes. Try just to find the address but sorry. I send you this in stead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i2R3AmQAf4 . And please don’t hesitate forward my mails to others.
Kindest regard
Ämne: australia and Haarp
14 maj 2011
Apart from these films you can see other films on the subject to the right on Youtube.


Ämne: This is what I have been subjected to
14 maj 2011
Petrus said on Thursday: Can’t you feel well you know already that we are connected. He insisted on playing his songs over and over again. But when it came to this special song he said that this one was especially dedicated to me. It would even say so on the cover of the album. Enigmatic as always. I have always found it really difficult to listen to English lyrics. So I had to listen up. The lyric he emphasized really made a point out of it staring pointing at me singing in a firm strong way “everyday,itsjustokillher”.
Connected through mind control. Found this and started to read to day. (Page 28 is when he start to describes the effect):

Illuminati has some bohemian grow where they sort of worship an owl. Petrus said he was the son of the devil Lucifer. The counterpart of Lucifer is Lilith I read somewhere today. A symbol of hers is the owl. This is sick. I have written to him that I don’t want him to visit me anymore today. I never asked for this. I want an ordinary life but it seems that I have to “hunt” information down to figure out what to expect. Oh and Petrus said something about “water protects” all of a sudden. Right now we have a draught a severe one in Sweden. He was at my place both Wednesday and Thursday. At both occasions the smell around him made me throw up acutely. Then he called me a shaman. At the same time he is being pretty horrible he tries to give me clues. He knows that i am all alone and that I belong to no organization or society. So if he is connected to me others can be connected to him and therefore he is unable to say things straight out. He does illuminati signals with his hands and has done so for a long time it is just that that i just recently understood that they were.
Am I the disturber of their New World Order?! Why on Earth would they be interested of me otherwise! A 46-year-old divorced and single mother?! I wish people could understand what Haarp is capable of achieving.

Sorry for taking your time. But you should know that I am really grateful to you taking your time to read and respond. This works as a powerful therapy as I start to remember 2009. And also to understand how what and why.
Ämne: read and contemplate pls
15 maj 2011

Well I know you are monitoring me. Boring job to have. I hope you in turn are monitored two. that means that they are catching up on you. I hope the nice people out there are getting closer to you. This will blow up in your face. I hope Russia and china and Japan will fix this. Asia will probably get to you and what you are doing to earth is on a Hitler scale. You will be trialed for this. Harp will be exposed and lots of people know this already. New World Order kiss my ass. you don’t belong in this time. your life is ending too you know. and you will never master internet. you keep on pestering me and my life. one thing people know about me is that i am sincere honest. what about you- dutiful?! = programmed! You try to program me but I am stronger than you and the poor guy who is monitoring me is cracking. I can destroy him if I’d like to but i feel sorry for him. He has already lost his life and his senses. You ought to check him out. Or will you just kill him. I hear another guy in the background i will get to his psyche too. You see creative people can’t be ruled. When you finish an artistic work well you actually do that when there is this sensation of TRUTH. Hard to explain to a non-creative person.

And don’t use voice morphology on my phone again. You did that 9/11 and it will not work again. I know that you have hacked into my comhem account.

Silly what you did on the TV screen, “Your world -not technology” I mean come on I’ve been working with Photoshop for years and for me your mistake shone or rather screamed- You forgot to use a “gaussian blur” . Also interrupting the film “expired” on my DVD -blue screen appearing saying no signal. I mean how stupid are you. There is no signal from the comhem box. The DVD was directly connected to the TV. And if I want to watch extra scenes that should be up to me. And how come that film has expired from the library. Do you think all country folks like me are stupid? (You forgot to check. I had straight A’s with the remark excellent on the work i did at Stockhoms University. ;-D Also i was an A-student at college. I used to be a skilled IT consultant. That was ten years ago so a google on the internet would not be enough to find out these things. You did a poor research I’m afraid. A good thing to be underestimated if you are at war.)
So maybe a lot of things aren’t “my world” but logic, alertness curiosity and intuition sensitivity and reason is. A pretty strong combination! – Don’t you think. O

I am being considerate here writing in English so you don’t have to translate. But what you did to me and my sister on the phone that was horrible. You try to make me appear as crazy. But that won’t work anymore. You know i have started to tell people about this as prevention. When are you going to realize that it’s actually game over?

You know money wealth and success is not a measurement of ability and empowerment and worth. You are actually crippled persons. P was for sale – i will not ever be. Probably you are starting to feel uneasily and nervous. This did not turn out to be what you had expected. You were wrong and now you are trying to convince each other that you still are but deep down inside you all have started to grow that seed of doubt.

There is nobody out there for you anymore. They tell me they are all on my side now. Your problem is now that you are creating a “Star Wars” on Earth. You are creating a cancer that will affect us all. Kubrick’s film “Dr Strangelove” shows the way. That director was very visionary. Do you have anything to do with his death by any chance as some “conspirationist” has tried to claim? Well you should be aware of that you are playing with fire.

You know that there are people who have statistically proven that these Earthquakes all over Earth are related to HAARP. It took me some time to figure it out but my intuition and eagerness led the way. Well i had felt the rays. But i am being protected. You can never take my persistence and resistance away. Those features are my second name. 🙂 So you are cracking up the planet and try to make me seam like a crackpot. Well you won’t succeed. I can bare the headaches, and i will take better care of me from now on. I will never let that junkie P inside my home anymore. And it is actually a good thing that i have this spy ware and keystrokes or whatever it is called on my computer. That means that i have the opportunity to reach you and teach you to convince you of your wrong doings. You were never that clever were you? You have all been indoctrinated. By your sect by your fathers and so called friends. I feel sorry for you in a way because you are small and pathetic. Still you are dangerous as psychopaths. Well Hitler died. Hussein, Ceausescu, Stalin, Mao, you really are in a good company. Same ruling idea.
If you had studied more and been more humble in that sense you should know that it has been proven by statistics that the masses when not (indoctrinated 🙂 completely) make the right choices closest to the reality and truth. That is the reason for democracy to rule. A shadow government is contra productive- it just serves nepotism and corruption. Information has to be free. I feel sorry for the American people. You should be ashamed – you are not patriots – you are fascistic terrorists. And your god is money power and the result a destroyed planet.

You are trying to destabilize the nations economies you are creating death of thousand of people and animals. When are you going to come to your senses? What is wrong with you? Are you completely indoctrinated and programmed?

Asking that stupid P who’s behind he said: Behind the Bushes. How long will you let him live? And his E who had also this training in California. She is his witness are you going to kill her too? And when am i going to die? How will i die- a car accident? A thunderstorm? Heart attack? Poisoning? Well will it be overdose for P?

Now reading “Torture Killing Me Softly Bhutan Through the Eyes of Mind Control Victim” by Tek Nath Rizal – it answers allot of questions.
I don’t now how many you are monitoring me but i will try get hackers track you down. They can hack HAARP Bilderberg might work too, Illuminati, Scientologist, LA. Bush’s computers and cell phones. Then we have this surveillance system out there tracking all traffic on phones and Internet. You now that they can have sort of moving connection on servers so you won’t be able to track them down because a true hacker will never join your team. Them there are always Assange and his old crew. All my information wants to be free. So now i know that P will have a hard time surviving. He is to be found on Facebook . You an find there too. They are in danger. They need protection. Wikileaks will be useful and then there was this open leaks with a German founder.
May 19
To a new Facebook friend
You wanted to hear news and about what i have found out lately. I will tell you but first I’d like to tell you that no one apart from you seem to have been interested in what I have written on Ashtar command apart from you. As you might know English is not my native language so sometime my writings are “clumsy”. Swedish is my language that I write (but not a language that i speak as i speak a dialect with an odd accent) Anyway I’m very grateful that you got back to me and that you have the generosity to have me as a friend.
I had the man that was sent here to track me down as a sort of quest.
P has been telling me that i should move from this area. He can’t speak straight forward because he also told me “you can’t dream of what training i had (scientologist training). His old girl friend is calling him like crazy every time he is at my place. He taught her this training. He brought her with him to LA the second time he was there Autumn 2007. She seems really scared. I am a pretty confident and self secure person without need for “high horses” so I let him in to have answers. Well when he entered my apartment on both Wednesday and Thursday instantaneously had to go to throw up. There was something about him that made me sick. On Thursday after doing so he just said: “You are a shaman” Well I consider normal behaviour is to say: how are you or can I help or being in assistance in any way. But not him. It seems he is ordered under some strange mind control to finish me off. But refuses and is trying to help me in this enigmatic manor. As you might understand all my writings are cries for help as the “threat” is out of the ordinary and is connected to powerful sects as a sort of new world order, Illuminati, Scull and bones, And as P confirmed Behind – the bushes.
Well that eagle as a white circle with a black dot/circle in it centre as I wrote to Ulansey in the middle of the 90th is actually as I found out last week the illuminates secret signs when they write to each other. What I never mentioned to Ulansey was that there was also the a black circle with a white dot in its circle. That means the white eagle meeting the black eagle merging as a yin and yang. -The two opposites meeting as two omegas with two opposite alphas or A’s or cones or triangles meeting in the omegas openings. Meeting as the Star of David. =The seal of Salomon. A code for electromagnetism and a sort of matrix in it self. P is taught mind control and he connected to me. He does not want to kill me but just want to warn me. Well new world order or what they are called is powerful people. Just talked to my dear cousin and she is affected too I just found out. They broke our call twice. And we needed to ring up again. This is like a guerrilla war in a strange sense and I want to send a message out before these lunatics destroy our planet and civilization, as we know it with their strange mind control and interference of the magnetosphere. Please help us all out and spread the word. 😀 You know, most people are nice and giving. The vast majority.

Late now. Half past three in the morning …Thanks for taking your time to read this
All my love

(Below a link to a man exposed to mind control . Free book in PDF. Give it a chance and then check out others exposed to it. Horrible symptoms.)
Teknath Rizal


19th of May Thursday

P and I broke our friendship on Friday 13th of May. I don’t want him to come and see me anymore. One thing he said on Thursday was ”Sepiarot” as I might have written here. He repeated ”Sepiarot is important – remember that!” Did he mean to say Sephiroth of the Kabbalah? Then it gets strange with the tree of life –it is tetraoid in its structure. There too one can find the circle with a dot in its centre. Schechina/Sakina is nearly my name backwards! Guess I need to get into that field too now. Deep sigh.


All the best to you all. Thank you for taking your time to read this.



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